Now, fairy tales are not like Mother Goose rhymes
that are based on facts and real people.
Fairy tales are fantasies.
They are fun to read... I read them myself every night.
...but nobody really believes them.
I believe them.
Oh, Herman.
He is so funny. Big joke.
Anyway, fairy tales are full of imaginary characters
who are loaded with magical powers
like Cinderella's fairy godmother.
Now, she could change a pumpkin into a coach
or mices into horses and anything else into anything else.
I believe it.
Then there's Pinocchio's good fairy.
With the wave of a stick,
she changed him from a wooden puppet into a genuine, real, live boy.
I believe it.
And then there are bad fairies like the one in Sleeping Beauty,
who turned herself into a fire-breathing dragon.
I believe it.
Then you're always sure to find a wicked queen
like the one in Snow White.
She drank some of her own black magic and turned herself into
an awful mess.
Oh, boy, is that hard to swallow.
But I believe it anyway.
Herman, I could smash you.
I believe it.
In fairy tales, you will find all kinds of giants.
There are small giants
and the big economy-size giants
like the one in Jack and the Beanstalk.
That's a real big giant.
It's really an old fairy tale, Jack and the Beanstalk, you know.
African Zulus used to tell it,
American Indians told it,
and everybody, practically, who told this tale
gave it different characters.
But no matter who told it, it was always the same story
and they all used the same magic beans.
And these beans is the same ones I am going to imagine
in the story I am going to dream up.
Once upon a long time ago, there was a place called Happy Valley.
And it was called Happy Valley because everyone there was valley happy.
This place was really beautiful.
It was one of nature's garden spots, nestled among green growing hills,
with a babbling brook
bubbling and babbling as it flowed through the valley.
The winding roads all lined up with high trees.
Lush fields and prosperous farms all over the place.
And way up high on the hill overlooking the valley,
there stood a big red barn.
No. What am I saying?
I mean there was a big castle.
And inside the castle, there was kept a real precious thing:
A magic singing harp.
And, oh, boy, could that magic harp sing. Listen.
What a sunny sky Kind of makes you sigh in a happy way
What a very merry day All the world is gay
When your cares are light And your heart takes flight
And you're swept away
The air is sweet with clover The clouds are turning over
Oh, yes, they're turning over Just to show their silver lining
My, what a happy day
Never knew such bliss Never read of this in a book or play
What a lovely day
What a great big, gorgeous, sumptuous
Thumping bumptious, hum-galumptious Simply scrumptious
My, what a happy day
Never knew such bliss Never read of this in a book or play
What a lovely day
What a great big, gorgeous, sumptuous
Thumping bumptious, hum-galumptious Simply scrumptious
Oh, my, oh, my What a happy day
Yes, sir, the voice of this here golden harp cast a magic spell of happiness
and prosperity over the whole valley.
But it was too good to last.
Because one day, a mysterious shadow crept over the valley
and something awful happened.
When the shadow lifted, the golden harp was gone
and Happy Valley was no longer happy.
Without the magic of the harp, all was misery.
Things started to look pretty bad all over the place.
Everything was drying up.
The fields of golden corn turned to dust.
The babbling brook babbled no more.
And to think that this was once Happy Valley.
Now it looked more like Gruesome Gulch.
Anyway, days pass, weeks pass.
And now in the whole kingdom, there was nothing but peasants.
Well, suppose we look in on some of these here peasants.
This isn't a peasant, naturally, this is a cow.
She used to be a good milker, but now she's an udder failure.
Anyhow, there they are, three poor, miserable peasants,
gripped by the pangs of starvation.
Still alive, still kicking, sharing a pitiful crust between them.
Share and share alike.
Sharing and staring and staring and sharing and sharing.
But are their spirits broken?
Have they lost hope?
You bet they have because they are facing starvation.
There's nothing left but beans.
Beans, what am I saying? I mean, bean.
Now, if it were one man and three beans...
Well, but no.
One bean and three men.
Well, anyway, one nice thing, there are no bones in it.
Just look at that miserable duck.
Nothing but a bag of bones and feathers.
Truly a picture of despair.
Despairing duck. But Donald doesn't whimper.
Donald doesn't give up.
Shut up. I can't stand it.
No, wait.
Easy, Donald.
- Give it. - No, don't pull yourself apart.
There now, there. Easy, boy.
Yeah, I'll be all right.
I'll be all right.
He says he's all right.
In a pig's eye.
He's suffered too much.
What's this?
What diabolical thought is being hatched in the brain of this poor, demented duck?
Donald. No, no.
Nice Bessie, Bessie.
Nice old cowsie-wowsie.
Donald.
Donald. No, Donald.
Give it here.
Let me have food.
I gotta... I just gotta eat.
Poor Donald.
Anyway, Mickey decided to sell the cow,
so now there would be meat on the table again.
Hey, look.
Turkey, lobster, sweet potato pie
Pancakes piled up Till they reach the sky
I wanna eat and eat and eat And eat and eat until I die
Turkey, lobster, sweet potato pie
Pancakes piled up Till they reach the sky
Lots of starches, lots of greens
Fancy chocolate-covered...
Beans!
What do you mean, beans?
Yeah, fellas. I sold the cow for some magic beans.
Beans?
But, Donald, these are not ordinary beans.
They're magic beans.
If you plant these beans in the light of a full moon,
do you know what'll happen?
Yes. We get more beans.
- Oh, no, Donald. - Magic beans.
Poor Mickey.
Boy, did he get robbed trading his cow for a few miserable beans.
What a shame to bamboozle a simple peasant.
Magic beans.
By the light of the full moon.
What's this?
There's something moving.
What's going on here?
Maybe there's magic after all.
And all through the night, it grew higher, higher and higher.
And so with the coming of dawn,
the bewildered farmers found themselves staring at a mammoth castle
miles up in the sky.
Who lives here, I wonder? Man or monster?
A princess or a dragon?
Well, anyway, whoever it is, maybe they could get a handout.
A few beans. No. What? Beans...? What am I saying?
I'll bet mortal man has never set foot in this place.
Oh, boy. Look at the size of that footprint.
Cinderella didn't make it, I'll tell you that.
Anyway, soon they reached the moat around the castle.
But this didn't stop these kids.
Oh, no, this bunch of nuts went on as if drawn by some irresistible force.
And then suddenly, without warning, out of the sky above...
- Gee, what whoppers. - Yeah. Bombers.
Finally, they reach the castle.
The hard way.
Food.
Let me have it.
Boy, look at the size of that meal.
There's enough there to keep Happy Valley happy for a long time.
Who's there? Who is it?
- That's the harp. - Boy, oh, boy.
How'd you get here?
I was kidnapped by that wicked giant.
A giant?
That's right, a giant.
As big as...
Herman.
You feeling better, Herman?
I'm hungry.
He's hungry.
Oh, well, that's a very good sign. Here, have a cherry.
Anyway, this giant was so big he could squish a man
just like you could squish a bug.
Herm... Herman.
There you are. Oh, boy.
For a minute, I thought I squished my best friend.
Anyway, this giant was really a big hunk of a lunk
and he looked something like this:
Fe-fi-fo-fum He-hi-ho-hum
I'm a most amazing guy
A most amazing guy am I
Fe-fi-fo-fum He-hi-ho-hum
I'm the stuff, I'm telling you
For here's what I can do
I can change myself into an elf
Fly up high like the birdies
I can disappear into atmosphere
'Cause I know the magic wordies
Fi-fo-fe-foy Fe-fe-fe-fe
Fifi?
I don't know no Fifi.
I smell...
Pot roast. Chocolate pot roast.
With stispachio...
With...
With green gravy.
Oh, no, you don't.
You can't get away from Willie.
I got you.
I think I got you.
Yeah, I got you.
Willie?
What?
Ten, 20, 30, 40. Boy, what a lifeline.
But what's this here?
What is it? What is it?
I can't believe it.
Is it bad?
Why, it says here that you can change yourself into anything.
Sure, sure. You wanna see me?
I can change myself into the darnedest things.
Go on, give me something. Anything.
Anything?
Anything.
Can you change into a fly?
A cute, teeny-weeny, itsy-bitsy housefly?
That's it. A housefly.
You don't want a fly.
How about a bunny with long pink ears?
Well, of course, if you can't do a fly, why...
All right. A fly.
Why?
Well, they're...
Because.
Okay.
A teeny-weeny fly.
With pink wings.
Now, for the magic wordies.
Fe-fi-fo-fum He-hi-ho-hum
I'm a most amazing guy Tee-ti-tee-ti-tee-ti
Are you sure you don't want a pink bunny?
Hey, what is this?
You think you'll fool Willie.
Yep, things looked pretty dark for the prisoners.
Looks like their goose is cooked.
But there's still a chance.
The magic harp, she knows the giant's weakness.
If she could only use her magic voice to put the giant to sleep.
In my favourite dream
Everyone is so delightful
No one's mean or spiteful
In my favourite dream
Yes, and in my favourite dream
There my heart can go romancing
Dancing to a heavenly theme
But there's something else I look forward to
It's a secret, but here's a clue
He's my favourite you know who
You're the hero of
My most favourite dream
Oh, mercy. Forgive this.
In his right vest pocket You'll find the key
The right vest pocket Go carefully
I'll smash...
Hello?
Nightmare.
Oh, boy.
- He made it. - He did?
Here he comes with the key.
Let me have it, Mickey.
Well, it looks like success at last.
Safe from that overgrown kook of a giant.
Now all they gotta do is find the beanstalk,
climb down and go home with a big surprise for Happy Valley.
Wait. Mickey's going to make doubly sure.
He's taking no chances, just in case Willie might wake up.
Come back here, come back here.
Well, there goes Willie.
Over and over and over. Down, down, down.
And:
And so with the giant gone and the harp back,
Happy Valley was once again valley happy.
And the people lived happily ever after, except little Herman here.
Herman.
Herman, what's all the sniffling is going on with you?
I liked Willie.
And he got killed, dead.
Isn't he cute?
Herman, bless your little heart.
Herman, there never was the Willie at all.
- No? - No, of course not.
Like all fairy-tale characters, Willie is just a phenonenom...
Pheno...
He's made-up in your subconscious mind.
Yeah?
Yes. In other words, just a figment of your imagination.
No.
Has anybody seen anything of a teensy-weensy little mouse?
What do you mean, a little mouse?
Will you put the roof back on the house and go away? I'm talking to my frien...
I'm...
No, I...
Willie is a...
What's the matter with him? Something he ate?
No, Willie. It's a figa...
It's a figamentation of his imagination.
No.
Peter Piper picked a peck of...